Missing The Point: Women Can Be Scientists, White People Can Be Black, And We Are All… Nazis?

(via www.rawstory.com)

(via www.rawstory.com)

Hey everybody, have been reading the internet this last week?  Oh boy, yeah you have.  So much blind rage and genuine confusion this week.  I’m sure at this point you have had to seek physical therapy for your fingers because you keep falling for click bait.


Thanks for following the link to this article by the way.


I’ll get to the big one in a little bit, you know the one I’m talking about, but before I get to that I need to talk about a smaller controversy you may have missed.  One that perhaps slipped through the cracks of #PCSeinfeld and #RachelDolezal.  Hey have you ever of Tim Hunt?  Probably not, especially before last week.  Not unless, like myself, as a child you collected scientist cards instead of baseball cards.  If I was good at photoshop this is where I would insert A real nice looking science card but instead you guys get this piece of shit.


Watson-Crick edit

Led the league in LSD-induced world changing discoveries.


Anyway, Mr. Hunt… I’m sorry Dr. Hunt is a nobel prize winning scientist.  He won it for Physiology or Medicine, that’s the name of the category, I’m not confused about which one.  So Dr. or Professor or whatever…  Lets just call him Timmy Boy.  So Timmy Boy got into some trouble last week because at a conference he said, “Let me tell you about my trouble with girls. Three things happen when they are in the lab: you fall in love with them, they fall in love with you and when you criticize them, they cry.”


Naturally people saw this and thought, well, that’s probably out of context or at very least a person who has contributed enough to humanity to win a Nobel Prize is certainly entitled to make a mistake here and there, I hope he continues to do brilliant work.  JK you guys, he was forced to resign his university position because you know, who needs science?


Lets look at what he said. “Let me tell you about my trouble with girls. Three things happen when they are in the lab: you fall in love with them, they fall in love with you.”  Sure, maybe he shouldn’t have used girls and said women, but what he is describing is every work place situation I have ever been in.  Its good to know scientists like to bone as much as the waitstaff of corporate chain restaurants.


If I wasn’t so god damn lazy I could probably find and post statistics about how many people have had relationships in the work place, and I could probably also find statics about how inter office dating causes a drop in efficiency and that’s why many companies have policies against it.  But I’m not going to because this is a blog, its about feelings not facts, god damn it.

Now the last for the last part, “and when you criticize them, they cry.”  Now, I’m not saying this part is correct but it should be noted that he criticized women and then they cried about it till he got fired.


Using the scientific method I would have to deduce based on this observation that his hypothesis may have some validity to it and is in need of further study.  My point is at no point does he say women can’t be scientists or even that they aren’t as good at science.  He wasn’t discouraging anyone, he was just saying that he can’t see a lady doing hot, hot lab work with getting a boner.  He’s not the first bro to suffer from this.  More on this later.


Now on to the big one.  My god you guys, could you not get enough of this Rachel Dolezal story?  I certainly couldn’t get enough of it… specifically because I’ve spent the last several days avoiding it because I’m not going to be outraged about something until we’ve collectively decided what and why were suppose to be outraged by it.  How I have followed the story is only through tweets, Facebook post, and headlines on news sites.  I’ve yet to click on a single one of them.  I will not feed the machine.


Anyway, I feel I’m just as informed as anyone else about this story.  A woman was found out to be pretending to be black when she was white, followed by a few hours of confusion because, obviously.  This turned into several days of public shaming because… racism?

And then yesterday she resigned because, of course she did.  Hooray, Internet Accomplished! 


Now, as I said I haven’t bothered to look at any stories about this but I’m assuming she was doing a good job before all this came up, so she got fired for living a lie.  I would suggest Miss Dolezal get into politics because all of those people are just as fake as she is.  Assuming that she is faking, and she doesn’t actually have some mental issue where she believes she is actually black.  In which case I think we may have found the first case of actual reverse racism.

So what is the point of all of this?  Well, in the last week the internet outrage machine has cost two people their jobs, two people who seemed to be doing a good job.  Not just that, but they were doing  jobs for the benefit of humanity. 


One a medical scientist, the other running a non profit to help disadvantaged people.  Yet, they did or said something that the click farmers knew would drive traffic to websites so they and their work had to be sacrificed.  No one offers anyone real solution other than these people can no longer contribute anymore.  Any good they do is now null and void, while everyone else can pat themselves on the backs for how great a person they are.  And sometimes, if you were really offended you have to let everyone know how offended you are but also how you are a great person.

Here’s an example:


Screen Shot 2015-06-15 at 6.57.04 PM

Saving the world through snark.


That’s a screen grab not an actual link.  I’m not going to link to some bullshit news story.  I did have to click on that one though and its just a bunch of lady scientists making obvious jokes at Tim Hunt’s expense.  Because, hey, that’s news.  Not a headline like “Female Scientist make Revolutionary Discovery.” (image not found)


I’m getting off track here.  Back to how these people are no longer allowed to have their careers.  It’s not like they are entertainers or owners of a purely profit driven company.  These are people doing things to benefit society.  I’ve heard people defend there dismissals as not being able to support someone or that person’s work because they feel like they would be supporting whatever negative views that person has.  Well, if that’s the case go take a long walk into the desert and live off nothing but the land and your wits.  Because literally every advancement in human civilization is tainted in one way or another.

But just so it hits home, by reading this very thing you are a Nazi and support the mass extermination of humanity that was the Holocaust.


Don’t believe me? After World War 2, the American government gave several Nazi scientist asylum in the United States so that they would share their scientific research with America.  Research that led directly to the American space program.  A space program that lead directly to the massive global communications network we enjoy today.  The same communications network you using to read this very article.


I made us all Nazis in three steps. 


So, next time you feel like piling on someone on the internet maybe you should goose step away from the computer and take a long hard look in the mirror and think about who the real monster is.


Ted is a contributor at UnSceneComedy.com. Ted loves comedy. He hates writing short Bios about himself. Ted is very good at comedy. He is not very good at writing his Bio. Ted is constantly working on his comedy. Ted rarely works on writing his Bio. Ted tell his jokes at all the major clubs in Boston. Ted writes his Bio on his home computer. Ted has appeared in several comedy festivals. His Bio has not. Ted was the Comic in Residence at the Comedy Studio in December 2010. His Bio took the month off to spend time with family. Lets review Comedy Good, Bios Bad.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *