Broad Appeal Presents: Mariel Makes a Mess by Mariel Cabral

10933761_961306432062_4732932575939792404_nMariel Makes a Mess is the premier column for people who are a little bit crafty, a little bit messy, and a little bit drunk. In each installment, Mariel will attempt to make something – be it a mess or a drink or another craft – and detail her adventures for your virtual consumption.


Week 1: It’s a Schnaps! The hot toddy is a delightful hot cocktail made with whiskey, lemon, and hot water;they are just perfect for cold winter nights. But whiskey is not always readily available or easy on the stomach, particularly if you have a gluten sensitivity. What a conundrum for the modern, gender non-specific person! Lucky for you, my friends and I decided to tackle this problem head on late one winter evening.

I am pleased to present the Hot Schläger for your enjoyment and consumption!

You will need:

  • A glass – yup! Goldschläger – This brand of cinnamon schnapps is always easy to find. Just ask any fun teenage girl to share with you. You may have to give her a few Mike’s Hard Lemonades to wrest the liquid gold from her underage hands. Come prepared!
  • Hot water – This ingredient gives the drink a warming sensation.
  • Cloves, lemon, cinnamon sticks, and sparklers – These are all optional, but heighten the Hot Schläger experience.
  • A splash of whimsy! – Not to be confused with whiskey!


Shake the Goldschläger. This step is not totally necessary, but will get the gold flakes dancing around in the bottle! Rejoice in glory of schapps and marketing!

Pour some Goldschläger into a glass. Use however much the teenage girl gave you to work with or two to three fingers of schapps. Any more will likely give you a headache.

Add the hot water. Throw in some cloves. You might like a slice of lemon too. If you want a real cinnamon explosion add one cinnamon stick.

Do NOT add any honey or simple syrup! This is a fucking sweet drink. No added sweetener required.

Enjoy in moderation. And enjoy moderation in moderation because sometimes you need to go totally coconuts.

If you’re sober enough to play with fire but still feeling capricious, light a sparkler!

If you’re sober enough to play with fire but still feeling capricious, light a sparkler!


Like what you see? You can see Mariel tomorrow, February 10th at Broad Appeal Comedy Night! Get tix here!

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