Nixon’s Neurotic Musings: An Unwelcome Word From Our Sponsors


An Unwelcome Word From Our Sponsors:
A Commercial for Mr. Nixon’s Romantic Reincarnation Getaway Weekend!

by James Nixon



Stop what you’re doing! Drop everything! Drop kick your newborn into the radiator! Pimp slap your cat! Cunt punch the guinea pig because you’re invited to Mr. Nixon’s Romantic 5th Wheel Reincarnation Getaway Weekend!

That’s right folks, throw it all away. It’s only life! You won the lottery by being born a person but that doesn’t mean your life isn’t a total bummer. It’s up to YOU to flush the floater that is your existence down the reincarnation commode. We can give you a new life!!! (Well, we might, you’ll have to find out if reincarnation is real first.)

scary tropicalWe’re inviting you and 4 of your friends to Mr. Nixon’s Romantic 5th Wheel Reincarnation Getaway Weekend!


You’ll enjoy 2 days and 2 nights in tropical bliss before our strike team rains napalm from the sky!
In your final moments, when you’re in that gorgeous thatched roof hut wondering whether it was prefab or original native construction and liquid fire is melting onto your skin you think, maybe, you should’ve gone for a walk. Or started a hobby. Anything instead of watching the trash we call cable television.

We now we return you to Judge Joe Brown.



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Image was pulled from a Google Image search of “scary tropical paradise.”  If you are the owner of the image and would like credit or to request it be taken down please contact James here.

James is a contributor for

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