My Weekend On Demand Part II: The Wrath of Con

Hey guys guess what I did this weekend. Wow, you idiots are really bad at this okay I’ll just tell you. I went to the Boston Comic Con. Oh what fun. I had to go by myself of course not sure that I’m that unpopular. I have at least three friends who read comic books, I can’t believe they were all too busy with “work” and “wife” and “work-wife.” Full disclosure my work wife is the 15 minutes that I’m supposed to take for lunch and instead use it to read the obit’s in the paper. I had one friend who was going to go but cancelled to play Dungeons and Dragons. I’m sure we were both thinking, why is that guy doing that nerdy thing instead of doing this cool thing with me.

I got some great deals on some books. Mostly picked out some trades. I spent 100 bucks at this one table then thought to myself, hmn I can either go home… or go to an atm. I chose the latter (that’s the atm option right?) and withdrew another 100 dollars which I spent at the same table. This year had some great artists one in particular I wanted to meet, Frank Quitely.

I stood in line for about an hour to get a some All Star Superman and Batman & Robin issues signed. It was taking awhile it seemed like Frank was talking a lot to people. I thought this is great we’ll have an actual conversation. He was talking up a storm to the guys in front of me. When it got to my turn I stepped up, Frank turned and started talking to someone else at the table while he very nonchalantly signed my books. Is there something about me that he didn’t like as opposed to everyone else in line?

I always end up feeling bad when I meet my heroes. Like last year when I met Mike Mignola the creator of Hellboy my all time favorite comic/movie/everything. I was so psyched to meet him, you’d think he’d be just as excited to meet me, a faceless fan among millions, right? Instead he very nonchalantly signed some books, I bought a mini-novel from him and as I was leaving the table he yelled out to me, “hey wait!” This is it, this is where he asks me to hang out and tell him stories of how much I love his work! As I turned around he said, “the sketchbooks are ten dollars, the mini-novels are fifteen, you owe me an extra five dollars.”

It’s not their fault though, they meet millions of fans all the time, it’d be crazy to expect large enthusiasm every time they meet a stranger. Still, I’m pretty sure if I ever get the chance me and Rick Remender would really hit it off. Fear Agent is great!

By the end of the festival, I had two large bags of comics so heavy that it ended up making my hands soar. Luckily there was no permanent damage, but imagine if there was. That would be the lamest battle scar story ever. Oh you got that fake eye from a biker brawl on a riverboat doing down the Missisp? Well check out these hands and I’ll tell you a tale of the boy who bought more than he could carry.

So in conclusion, of course I cried during Kate and Prince Williams wedding, I’M NOT A ROBOT!



Tim Vargulish

Tim is a contributor for UnSceneComedy.com