My Weekend On Demand: Part VI

Hey guys guess what I did this weekend? That’s physically impossible for anyone to do. This is actually going to come as a shock to some of you but I actually didn’t do much this weekend. Why is that? Well that’s because it’s Memorial Day Weekend (not sure if all the words needed to be capitalized) and that means that I get Monday off of work which creates a third day to the traditional two day weekend.

Memorial Day is a weird holiday because no one really knows what it’s about. A memorial is a way to remember something but that’s kind of unspecific so all we know is that this is a day when we’re supposed to be remember something. It’s up to each and every one of us to remember something. I remembered something that happened to me a couple of years ago. I was in my attic looking through some old boxes and a took a step backwards to an area with no floor and fell through the ceiling. This created a hole in my living room ceiling where the lower half of my body dangled as I pulled myself up. It was pretty scary, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wet my pants a lot more than usual after that.

This incident made me really mad at the sitcom Family Matters. Any fan of the show knows how often someone falls or crashes through something and all that happens is people laugh and someone says something like, “Well that’s one way to get downstairs.” What they don’t show you in the show is how scary an event like that can be, not to mention if someone was in the living room at the moment they could have gotten hit by the plaster which I assume would have killed them. Then you have to have someone come and repair the hole which isn’t cheap, it’s just a big big mess.

It’s only the bad stuff from sitcoms that seem to happen to me in real life. Like I’ve been dumped by girls, embarrassed myself in front of my boss, ate an entire pizza without a shirt on, it’s ridiculous! None of the good stuff ever happens but that’s probably just because the head writer is really lazy. I don’t want to end on a downer though some good stuff happened to me this weekend so I’ll list them rapid fire. Girl said I was funny after a show! Boom, happened! Beat Dead Space 2! Easy mode, check it! Ordered a pizza! From Dominos, let’s move on! I installed my air conditioner and got really cold at night! Need another blanket, these are getting sad!

So in conclusion, BE SURE TO ENJOY SPIKE TV’S MANMORIAL DAY WEEKEND OF MENTERTAINMENT FOR REAL MEN, IF YOU’RE A CHICK THEN GET A DICK!!!!!!!!!!!



Tim Vargulish

Tim is a contributor for UnSceneComedy.com