Everyone is freaking out about Ebola, and we at UnScene Comedy are right there with you nervous Nelly’s (Shake Ya Tailfeather).  Anyway, we know how much people hate going to boring government websites to read and understand the best way to prevent exposure and infection.  So here is what the CDC has to say about it with some comments added by me (Shawn Carter).

Best ways to prevent Ebola:

1.  Practice careful hygiene. For example, wash your hands with soap and water or an alcohol-based hand sanitizer and avoid contact with blood and body fluids. (source CDC.gov)

via info.debgroup.com

Now I know this sounds like a lot of work.  Washing your hands is so tedious and seemingly unnecessary.  From my experience being in public restrooms.  I would say 25% of men wash their hands, it’s really disgusting, and that number drops significantly if you are at a concert or sporting event.  Ladies, I hope your percentage is higher.

Anyway that brings us to tip 1A.  Don’t let men touch you with their hands.  Don’t let them prepare your food.  In fact try not to be around men at all because they’re gross.

2.  Do not handle items that may have come in contact with an infected person’s blood or body fluids (such as clothes, bedding, needles, and medical equipment).  (source CDC.gov)

This one seems fairly easy.  There has been one documented case of Ebola in the US so you would

via picphotos.net

really have to go out of your way to touch that persons blood or body fluids.  But to be super safe let’s try not to touch anyone’s blood or body fluids.

Avoiding blood is just a good tip in general for preventing numerous diseases.  ALWAYS AVOID TOUCHING BLOOD WHEN POSSIBLE.  Even if someone tries to hand you something nice, like a rose that has blood on it, don’t touch it.

3.  Avoid funeral or burial rituals that require handling the body of someone who has died from Ebola. (source CDC.gov)

Again, just to be safe you should avoid handling any bodies at all times.  I should hope that 100% of us can meet this preventative measure.

via sharethefiles.com

4.  Avoid contact with bats and nonhuman primates or blood, fluids, and raw meat prepared from these animals. (source CDC.gov)

It seems as though bats may be the primary carrier of this disease so try to resist eating any bats at least until after you get your Ebola vaccine*.  Eating a bat may cause you to be infected with the disease.  Or maybe you’ll just feel awful knowing how adorable they can be.

via mrsreardon.edublogs.org

5.  Avoid hospitals in West Africa where Ebola patients are being treated. The U.S. embassy or consulate is often able to provide advice on facilities. (CDC.gov)

Ok.  Again, I’m thinking most people reading this are not in a position where they will need medical treatment in West Africa.  However, if you do find yourself in that position, don’t go to those super dangerous hospitals where they are treating Ebola patients.  Instead, go to the U.S embassy and find out where the AMERICANS get treated.

via aecom.com

6.  After you return, monitor your health for 21 days and seek medical care immediately if you develop symptoms of Ebola. (CDC.gov)

This last one seems to fit more into the “treatment” part than prevention but the CDC included it so I’m passing it along to you.

Ok.  Well, that concludes our tips for staying alive today.  Good luck and God speed.

*There is no Ebola vaccine.

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UnScene Comedy Live Show:  June 27th!  With Joe List.

Featuring:
Bill McMorrow

Sean Rosa Donovan

and Thom Crowley

Hosted by Shawn Carter

June 27, 8pm
Tix $15 presale, $20 door
Get tix any Tuesday night at Stadium in Quincy.

Stadium Bar and Grille
1495 Hancock Street
Quincy, MA