Hello internet sheep. I haven’t been able to get fired from my job so maybe going back to writing these outrageous articles will do the trick, or maybe my bosses haven’t bothered to Google my name. Any way this weeks question isn’t so much of a question as it is a statement: “I want to …
Category Archive: Advice
Jun 09
Theodore’s Advice Column
Dear Theodore, I have a problem. A friend of mine has been cheating on his girlfriend and I know about it. She is a good girl and I feel bad. We actually dated for a little while before they got together. Now I don’t want to ruin my friendship, but I also feel bad for …
May 14
Theodore’s Advice Column
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 6 months now and we still have not made love. I’ve tried everything, romantic dates, weekend getaways, flowers, massages, chocolates, candle lit dinners. I’ve even written her poetry and sang for her, but still nothing. I need your advice, how do I get her into bed? Well Charlie, …
May 13
Romantic Advice from Professor NoFunlap
Greetings! While Mr. Pettingell is on vacation, I, Professor NoFunlap will be fielding your questions in regards to things the proletariat are too stupid to figure out for themselves! This week’s letter comes from Charlie in Needmore, Arkansas: Dear Professor NoFunlap, I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 6 months now and we still have not …
Feb 27
Theodore’s Advice Column
Welcome back love birds, it’s your old pal, Ted. I’m here once again to spew relationship advice from my truth hole. This is going to be at least eight days late, and that’s because Shawn Carter is bad at the internet. So this week’s question comes from Dan in Rockland, Massachusetts. Dan asks, “My girlfriend …
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