Pick a Side Stupid: Nintendo

Tonight we debate Nintendo for our Live Podcast recording at Maggy’s Lounge in Quincy, 7pm.

As a primer for the show I’ve included all of the question that might be asked here.

There will be 5 categories, each listed below.

Super Mario Bros

  1. Would you rather eat a mushroom and grow twice your normal size OR touch a star and become invinsible?
  2. Better mode of transportation, riding on the back of an anthromorphic dinosaur OR a go-kart?
  3. Would you rather attend an orgy at Luigi’s Mansion or Bowser’s Castle?
  4. You’re in last place in Mario Kart: Do you try your best knowing you can’t win OR do everything you can to sabotage your friend who is in first place?
  5. Oh no, you are a grown man who still doesn’t know how to properly put on a tie!  Do you let Donkey Kong, who wears a tie everyday, teach you OR do you refuse to accept help from a Gorilla?

Megaman

  1. Would you rather have a robot dog that could turn into a jet or a submarine?
  2. Better way to steal someone’s power:  Killing them like Megaman OR eating them like Kirby?
  3. Which Megaman boss would you rather be: Fire Man whose weakness is Ice OR Metal Man whose weaknes is… metal?
  4. Who would be worse to sit next to on a long flight: Napalm Man OR Hornet Man?
  5. Who would be the better room-mate: Shadow Man or Magnet Man?

The Legend of Zelda

  1. You’re a new home-owner, Congrats!  Who would you rather hire to paint your house: Bongo Bong, a gargantuan, invisible, and evil spirit, appearing as a one-eyed monster with disembodied hands OR Princess Zelda?
  2. Which item would you rather have at your disposal a magical boomerang OR a magical key?
  3. The world is in danger and needs a hero: Do you turn to a child living in the forest or a plumber?
  4. More thankless job: The bricklayer in the mushroom kingdom or the potter in Hyrule?
  5. You get in an Uber and the driver is dressed in a green shirt, big belt, leather gloves and a green hat.  There’s a tiny fairy floating around giving your driver directions.  Do you keep quiet because the fairy probably knows best OR do you insist that the driver follow the GPS directions?

Castlevania

  1. More useful: owning a cool whip OR being able to turn into a bat?
  2. Who is the real hero: The old man giving a young boy weapons OR the cook hiding rotisserie chickens in the castle walls?
  3. Alucard is semi-immortal.  Alucard can indeed die so long as he wishes it.  Would you live forever OR would you eventually get tired of this world?
  4. Which boss would you rather invite over for board game night: Doppelganger or Dracula?
  5. Who is more likely to be into BDSM: Simon from Castlevania, who carries a whip with him all the time, or Bowser, who wears that spiky collar constantly?

Chance

  1. Who gets the good contoller: the host because it’s their house OR the guest because they’re the guest?
  2. Do you wear the wiimote wrist strap to prevent breaking your TV OR do you just take your chances?
  3. Which game that does not yet exist would you buy if available: Wii sailing so you could pretend to be rich OR Wii beer pong so you could pretend you have friends?
  4. Where the hell does Donkey Kong get all those barrels: He builds them himself OR he owns a winery?
  5. Your pet gorilla kidnaps your girlfriend and climbs atop a construction site: Do you fight to get her back OR Reactivate OKCupid?

Artwork by Matt Bedell



Shawn Carter

Shawn is the owner and creator of UnSceneComedy.com