Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Kinda Fat Comics. This is a blog about the struggles of comedians that aren’t really fat, they’re just kinda fat. No one involved in this challenge can write jokes about being fat, but most of them aren’t fitting in their favorite outfits for the stage. Over the course of the next few weeks these comics are looking to slim down and look the part of a comedian that is distractingly good-looking. The comedian that loses the most weight wins a small amount of money and a large amount of bragging rights.
Let’s meet our contestants.
Down 13 pounds from my start weight. Its becoming much easier to be healthy. Ive actually stopped craving all my old favorite foods, which was difficult at the beginning. The nice weather is helping a lot as well. Getting outside and jogging has become the highlight of my day. Having a delicious green smoothie every morning is such a great way to begin my day. Life is going great.
Unfortunately, evident by the above paragraph, my high self esteem has caused me to fall into a comedy-depression. I used to be the chubby, pathetic, unemployed guy with no motivation to succeed; and most found that enjoyable. In correlation with my new lifestyle changes, it seems that people are proud of me and are taking me seriously. I’m dying inside.
Last week it was actually nice enough out that I decided to go for a bike ride with my friend Jim. We decided to meet up at Blue Hills and tool around there for a little while. But when we showed up we noticed a sign that said “No Bikes, March 1st – 31st”.
A minor set back, we ended up going to a nice long bike trail through Arlington and Lexington. We got in a nice 15 mile ride that day before going to a salad bar and creating what I would hardly call a salad (is it ok to put buffalo chicken on caesar salad?). During the bike ride, I got passed by some dude on rollerblades. I was like “oh hell no!” Then I spent the next 5 minutes catching up to and eventually passing him.
I lost 3 lbs in the first week but I had a challenging week coming up. I had two shows at the Comedy Studio and my birthday. When you do comedy it is hard to avoid drinking or eating bad food because most shows take place in a bar or a Chinese restaurant. The Comedy Studio has both and it has a tradition of going for drinks after the show with the owner Rick Jenkins and the other comedians. To help deal with the week I joined Planet Fitness. I now belong to 3 gyms – one at work, one I joined for an ex-girlfriend (work out world) and planet fitness. There was no work out world near my apartment so I canceled the membership but it is still active until April.
Wednesday I did the show at the Studio and then left right after the show. I did not stick around for a drink and I felt bad about that but I had already lost a couple of pounds and did not want to lose momentum. On Saturday I did a big leg workout at Planet Fitness in anticipation of treating myself to pizza that night as part of my birthday celebration. I was really looking forward to pizza at Flatbread in Davis Square but by the time we got there, there was a 2 hour wait. We wound up eating at Mr. Crepe around the corner. I could have gone for a sweet crepe but decided if it wasn’t pizza I might as well make a healthy choice and stick to my diet. Sunday was my second show at the Studio and since I was already down 5 pounds for the week and felt bad about not sticking around on Wednesday, I hung out after the show and had one bud light which I didn’t completely finish. I was still down 5 lbs for the week on Monday morning. After two weeks I have lost 8 pounds and am at 190.4.
I love beer, cheese, fatty meats (like really fatty meats, cured mostly fat pieces of meat.) AND I DONT WANT TO STOP EATING THEM! It’s a huge problem.
I have been drinking less beer, and considering the amount of cheese that I eat. *I should consider it more, as I am also lactose intolerant. Dieting sucks. I wish I had more time for the gym. When I’m not at work, at a restaurant surrounded by some of the best food in the country, I’m doing/on my way to do comedy. I skip the gym late night because I don’t want to be tired for both jobs. I don’t work out in the morning because I don’t want to stink, or have time to wash my curly hair (*thanks another whole can of worms i don’t want to get into). This week was pretty bad. I lost 5 pounds the first week, and I’m still there. So, hey, I’m just happy I maintained.
Real quick, I wanted to address my photo on the blog. That picture is from when I was making edible stage and gore effects for a show and is somehow the only picture of me on Facebook with “food”. I’ve never drank motor oil from a jar or had that much blood on my face. Either mine or someone else’s. Just wanted to clarify.
This week was tough. I thought I could cut down on my calories more, but I ended up snacking a bunch. So I’m going to eat fuller meals to avoid those snacking. Sometimes I think I might actually be addicted to food. It’s like that old adage of the alcoholic. “I’m in charge of the first drink. After that it is almost impossible to stop.” If I eat one piece of candy, I may very well wake up the next morning in an alley surrounded by empty potato chip bags and microwaveable hamburger wrappers. That’s some deeply tragic shit, son. So I think the trick this week is to eat more calorie meals as a way to negate that urge to snack. Everybody got that? Good. Autobots, roll out.
When I get on my scale it says im 198lbs, sometimes it says im 187lbs, a few seconds ago it said I was at 194lbs (four times in a row) now, I don’t know how accurate this is but one thing is for damn sure….it is no longer going over 200lbs!