Weirdly Specific Horoscope. 11/10. – by Phoebe Angle.

scorpio48Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): 

You feel ambitious enough to start a new project!  Finally getting around to planting that herb and vegetable garden you dream about.  However, it’s October, I guess you will just have to wait until next year.  Let’s see whats new on Hulu!

via sheknows.com

via sheknows.com

 

sagittarius48Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21):  

It’s never too late to get the sex talk, is the opinion your parents take this week.

via candacecameronbure.net

via candacecameronbure.net

capricorn48Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): 

This week you decide to get a gym membership again.  You go for it!  You go Thursday AND Friday, but not again for another 2 years.

 

aquarius48Aquarius (January 20 – February 18):

You stumble across some old letters from your high school sweet-heart, and decide to look them up on Facebook.  Their two last posts are VERY pro Donald Trump.

 

pisces48Pisces (February 19 – March 20):

You are going to have some REALLY great make-up sex this week, now, to figure out what you did wrong, and who it will be with… the stars are a bit hazy on that.  but that’s just how being a dumb water sign is.

 

aries48Aries (March 21 – April 19): 

You begin to train turkeys as part of your Thanksgiving world domination poultry attack plan!  Training however is long and hard, as a turkeys brain the the size of a walnut, and they can easily overpower you, so get back to work.

via Nedhickson.com

via Nedhickson.com

taurus48Taurus (April 20 – May 20):

This week you will get somebodies number the old fashion way.  You’re super excited about it until you happen upon them on Tinder.

gemini48Gemini (May 21 – June 20):  

Tomorrow you will wake up thinking, “maybe I should try being a vegetarian”, but then you remember that Thanksgiving is like 2 weeks away,  so fuck that.

cancer48Cancer (June 21 – July 22):

So, you have been doing Palio?  The stars knew it, not because they know all, but because you have been acting like a real asshole.

via lzucchino.com

via lzucchino.com

leo48Leo (July 23 – August 22):

You know what you have to do, you have to poop in your roommates shoe.

virgo48Virgo (August 23 – September 22): 

It’s been more than a week since Halloween, which makes that Ronald McDonald sighting in your neighbored more than creepy.  It’s terrifying.

via pinterest.com

via pinterest.com

libra48Libra (September 23 – October 22):

Your friends dog ate your glasses, you cant even look at him.

via swifto.com

via swifto.com



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