Congratulations! Based on the the fact that you are the only white person I know who saw “Talk to Me” you’ve been selected to be the white friend I bring to see “Selma”! This is crazy exciting but until a formal post is made please refrain from informing them as some people will be sad (Sorry Adam).
This isn’t Django. This will be awkward for you.
I can’t imagine what it would be like to walk into a room of people who don’t look like you and have to watch something you could never relate to. I could never. Now before we venture out to the multiplex let’s take some time to lay out the ground rules.
First and foremost, let me be the emotional and informative one. When I clap hard, just nod your head. Do not suddenly catch the holy ghost and yell obscenities before I or any other black person gets the chance. I know you just downloaded the IMDB app and there’s some great trivia but wait til the Blu-Ray to drop that knowledge.
What I don’t need is you making me feel guilty for not knowing all the MLK facts because you took an African-American studies class. Did you just ask why I didn’t take the class? See, this is exactly what I’m talking about.
The most important rule is for when the movie is over: You are absolutely entitled to your opinion, but do you really have to give it now? Just for the sake of this subway ride agree that everyone got snubbed. Just Agree. Whatever I say, just agree. Don’t tell me how great the director of “Whiplash” is, that’s just White Drumline.
It’s fair to say for the next three hours, Ava DuVernay is the the greatest director of motion pictures ever. And I swear the god, if I hear the name “Cumberbatch” out of your mouth then your application for the D’Angelo concert is withdrawn.
IT WAS ALL INCREDIBLY ACCURATE AND EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT. LBJ and MLK were exactly like that and the movie borders on a documentary. Accept it, I didn’t point out all the inaccuracies of “Seabiscuit,” did I?
Anyway, what may seem like harsh conditions to see a movie is also the platform we can use to have a helpful more meaningful dialogue about determination, the right side of history and how underrated Ruben Santiago-Hudson is.
I thank you for your time and look forward to seeing you at the movies.
– A Black Person You Know