*Every week (ish) Rick uses a random word generator to pick a topic, and rambles on about it using related stories, thoughts, and questionable facts he thought he heard somewhere. Once finished he’ll look up the actual definition and see if he was in the ballpark.
**The last few weeks have been busy do to the major holidays landing on my posting days, so here’s an old one from a few years ago that disappeared from unscenecomedy.com. I have fancied it up with pictures.
Random word: Trellis
I am actually excited about this one because I am not sure what it means. I know a lot of words so I was worried that this concept would grow tired quickly because I know everything and am so smart and interesting. I am really going to have to guess on “trellis.” This is like a building term?… I am thinking possibly a patio, or maybe the underside of an awning? I think I have painted one… I’m also thinking it could be a type of fringe or lacey thing. I am almost certainly going to be wrong about this.
So here are some conflicting stories:
– I had an older sister, which of course meant that I was dressed up like a girl a lot when I was young. This was maybe not so much against my will as it was against my better judgment. I was going to say against my will, but it’s not like I was held down and forced to wear a dress… my family just always thought it was funny when my sister would dress me up, so I figured why not? (Also this has not changed much about me. Two days ago I wore another comic’s bra on my head while hosting a show to get a laugh. It was embarrassing.) I most certainly had a trellis on at some point, if that is what trellis means.
– I did a themed comedy show a while ago where all the performers had to wear dresses. I went all out for it. Pride!
– I used to be a house painter, maybe that’s where I have heard this before. We use to work on all sorts of trellises, sconces and overhangs because we would often work for new construction builders that would build “fancy” houses. Not actual fancy, like a mansion, but fake fancy, like “Hey everyone, look at how rich I’m not!” On my first day as a painter I almost burned down a set of condos. My job was to lug equipment from one condo to the next. It was winter so in each living room there was a big butane space heater, that I did not know was a heater and would soon be spotting flames. I piled box after box of stuff in front of the ‘where it goes on fire part’ (technical term) and then went to lunch. While away the temperature in the room dropped, the heater kicked on. When I returned the box of caulking that was right on front of the heater looked like a birthday cake (before the wish but after the song.) The rest of the day my boss told me stories about doing dumb things at job sites and girls he wanted to sleep with.
What if it’s a type of candy? Or an elegant plate? I’m going to look it up, because it is hard to write stories about an anything…
v: Provide with or enclose in a trellis.
n: A framework of light wooden or metal bars, chiefly used as a support for fruit trees or climbing plants.
Yup, I was wicked wrong, but now I know it, and if I somehow get trellis again, I can treat you with stories about ivy, small trees and tomato plants (pray this does not happen.)