The Broads of Broad Appeal Present: How to Eat Buffalo Wings Like a Lady – By Kristin Seltman

‘How can I get all that Broad Appeal Comedy Night goodness from the comfort of my own home?’ – is a thing no one has asked me. (But seriously, I know you’re all thinking it.) Either way, your prayers have been answered! UnScene’s new column, the Broads of Broad Appeal, will highlight the hilarious ladies from our show. This week’s entry is from Kristin Seltman, teaching us the one thing every girl’s been dying to know.

Christa

 

Kristin Seltman: Funny lady & buffalo wing etiquette guru

Eating Buffalo wings like a lady and other helpful Super Bowl advice: A ten-step guide for enjoying your super bowl Sunday and staying a lady.

by Kristin Seltman

 

The Super Bowl is coming up and if you are a lady you don’t care much for football. I mean sure, Tom Brady is hella hot and you are dying to see Katy Perry diss T-Swift in an adorably passive aggressive way during the half time show but that’s about it. How do you enjoy the other 3 hours at the bar or party your BF dragged you to? It’s time to indulge your secret sinful guilty pleasure. Buffalo wings.

 

Time to roll up your sleeves and dig in like a man…while staying a lady. Here are our ten tips for enjoying your secret snacks in public (oh the shame) but staying pretty and proper.

 

  1. Wet naps are your best friend. What good is all that perfectly blended foundation if you get wing sauce everywhere.

  1. Don’t bother wearing a belt to a Super Bowl party. It will just make you sad.

  1. It’s all about that blue cheese. Get extra.

  1. Proper wings come with carrots or celery. Have some of these veggies too you animal.

  1. DO NOT put a full wing in your mouth and pull out the bone. Sure, it’s a great way to suck all that blue cheesy meat off AND show off a cool party trick but this is NOT THE TIME.

For a game night on the town, a smokey eye works best with chicken wings.
For game night on the town, a smokey eye will work best with the deep orange color of your teeth and skin. (via mcgowans.ie)

 

  1. Try not to lick your fingers. If you must do this then hide when you do it.

  1. Re-apply lipstick after each wing.

  1. If possible eat tenders as opposed to wings because you can use a knife and fork on those and this cutting takes time and stops your animalistic nature from showing.

  1. Bring floss. You will need it.

  1. This isn’t the Andes Mountains. Do NOT eat the last wing.

 

Follow these rules ladies and you should be all set. Also GO PATS!

 

 

Want to see Broad Appeal LIVE! Of course you do! Our next show is February 10th at the Armory in Somerville. Get tix  and more info here: eventbrite.com

 



Christa Weiss

Christa Weiss is the editor & web mistress at UnSceneComedy.com. Christa performed in the 2014 Boston Comedy Festival and was the February 2014 Comic in Residence at the Comedy Studio in Cambridge, MA. She participated in the inaugural Chicago Women’s Funny Festival, the Women in Comedy Festival, the She Dot Comedy Festival, the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival, the Cleveland Comedy Festival and is a featured performer on Rooftop Comedy. She produces Broad Appeal Comedy Night, a female-focused comedy show in Boston. She also appears in commercials for the New England Sports Network (NESN).