The Random Word Generator Diaries: Porch

 

*Every week (ish) Rick uses a random word generator to pick a topic, and rambles on about it using related stories, thoughts, and questionable facts he thought he heard somewhere.  Once finished he’ll look up the actual definition and see if he was in the ballpark.

random word: Porch           

I think a porch is something on a house that juts out and is not walled in.  Often found on the front, back or side, but NEVER on the top of bottom of the house (for any of you budding architects that are reading this.)  The most common uses are for drinking mojitos in the summer, and freezing your butt off in the winter when your wife and landlord tell you that your home is “non-smoking.”  Also an excellent storage space for when you have too many rocking chairs.
 
When I was younger I fancied myself a bit of a film maker.  My first forte into directing was a piece I titled “Me, jumping off the porch roof while holding a camera (until I hurt myself.)”  I will concede that this was not my best work, but such is the early work of an artist.  It was still more watchable than a lot of open mics I did while starting comedy.
 
Did you guys know I am a Pearl Jam fan?  It is true, and Porch is one of their most beloved non-radio play songs.  This song was a real hit off of their MTV unplugged performance, you may remember it as the song where Eddie Vedder wrote “pro choice” on his arm.  I am also pro choice, but not because Eddie Vedder told me to be, I’m my own man.
 
I DID however once vote for Ralph Nader because Eddie Vedder told me to.  A few months later I heard a George Carlin joke and decided that voting is just not for me, which is why I didn’t vote this week.  I regretted this policy on election day because someone explained to me what the state propositions meant (I had no idea I could vote to get, or not get stuff that benefits me.)  Luckily we voted YES for sick time,  Sadly it looks like we are going to get casinos…

 
Porch is also the fake last name of a friend of mine.  John O’Connor is a close friend of mine.  John Porch is a talented comedian that I admire.   Hold on to your seats, here comes the twist…
THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON!?!
Stage names, I don’t totally understand them, but that’s not my business.  By the way he named himself after that Pearl Jam song (and probably voted for Nader too.)  John is very funny, he recently moved to New York City and I miss him.  
Here is a picture of him:
  and so handsome!!

Here is a video of his comedy: 

This guy is a real sweetheart.

porch

noun\ˈpȯrch\

: a structure attached to the entrance of a building that has a roof and that may or may not have walls

: an entrance to a building that has a separate roof

Ok so I guess it can have walls.  Whatever.  Here’s my real issue, NO mention of John Porch whatsoever?…   I don’t think people understand how hard it is to get a break as a comedian, and neither Merriam nor Webster are making this any easier on us.  Gatekeepers…  am I right?

If at this point you are still reading this, thank you for reading this.    


Rick Canavan

Rick Canavan is a stand up comedian. You can see him host a pretty fun show every Friday night at the Comedy Studio in Harvard Square.