Christa, (un)official blogger of UnScene Comedy Presents, here! Just in case you missed it, here’s a quick re-cap of our last show and the antics therein! We bring to you: Cartoons, Pop Culture & Cookies. Want to hear it live? Of course you do! Listen here: UnScene Comedy Presents: Cartoons…IN PODCAST FORM
Stand-up: Al Park
Story 1: Rich Karski
The Masochism of Wile E. Coyote
Story 2: Ken Reid
An Oral History of Pretty Much Every Saturday Morning Cartoon Ever
Audience story 1: Amber P. Knight
Story/Stand-up: Lamont Price
Superman, Nintendo & Crushing Disappointment
Story 3: Jake McDowell
Audience story 2: Shawn Armisted
Meeting Your Wife & GI Joe Drinking Games
Story 4: Anthony Scibelli
The Cultural Relevance of the Samurai Pizza Cats
Christa vs. Shawn EXTREME Bake Off:
Chocolate chip cookies vs. Spinach
Shawn and I both brought food to share with the audience based on the theme of the show. I brought chocolate chip cookies, because they reminded me of being a kid. Shawn brought spinach because everyone’s favorite horrifically deformed cartoon sailor from the 1940s, Popeye, is super into it for some reason. I’m pretty sure the only reason Popeye ate spinach is to trick little kids into eating it, because unless that spinach is filled with steroids, there’s no way giant creepy muscles would ever be the result. Yeah, Shawn fed the audience, spinach…but he also fed them LIES. Lies and spinach. Neither are delicious.
Unfortunately, after we decided to do this competition we realized we haven’t quite figured out a way to declare a winner. Based on taste, my cookies win hands down but, I SUPPOSE if we’re declaring a winner based on adherence to the theme it goes to Shawn, even though lets be realistic, dry uncooked spinach is sorta gross.
Winner: Shawn…I guess. BOOOOOOO!
…So of course you are wondering, how do I make quite possibly THE GREATEST COOKIES EVER? Not to worry my friends, your wish is my command.
2 cups light brown sugar
1 cup Crisco
1 tsp baking soda
3 1/2 cups flour
1 cup milk
3 tbsp vinegar
1 package chocolate chips (6 oz or more)
3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or more)
3/4 cup chopped walnuts
Preheat oven to 375. In a large bowl cream together sugar, Crisco and eggs. In a separate bowl or measuring cup, add vinegar to milk. (This basically the same as using buttermilk, but I’ve never actually tried it with buttermilk.) Add the milk, flour and baking soda to the dough. Once dough is well mixed add walnuts and chocolate chips. Dough will be lighter and fluffier than a normal cookie dough.
Spoon on to a lightly greased cookie sheet, making cookies about a tbsp in size.
Bake 7-10 minutes or until light golden brown.
….and in case your were wondering how to make Shawn’s culinary creation here are the directions for that:
1. Go the grocery store.
2. Buy some spinach.
3. Ruin Christa’s day.
After pining over my crushing defeat we ended the night like any proper storytelling/standup/podcast/food competition should…with drinking. After all, white russians and chocolate chip cookies might be the best combination ever.
Stoked for our next show? So are we! Here are the details:
Date: September 25th at Grandma’s Basement
Theme: I Fought The Law
Stories from: Ethan Marsh, Nathan Jenkins, Kyle Mosely & Sandra Peabody
Stand up comedy from: Jere Pilapal & James Creelman
Christa bakes by herself!