Comedy Diet Challenge!

Will my brother do 5 minutes of stand up comedy for the first time in his life or will I do 5 minutes of comedy wearing only ladies underwear?

This is the question I have to ask everyday to motivate myself to not eat Dairy Queen and lobster rolls 4 times a week.

In case you don’t know me, hi my name is Shawn Carter and I’ve been doing stand up comedy for about 7 years.  Most likely you’ve never heard of me unless you’re involved in the comedy scene in Boston or maybe you went to a show once and saw me but you likely wouldn’t remember my name.  However I have been on stage hundreds possibly thousands of times for the purpose of making people laugh.  Anyway this is all just to tell you why I need to wear ladies underwear.

Here’s the deal, I have two brothers of similar age and a father and we’ve all been living it up in this uber fat american society.  What I mean is we’ve all sort of let ourselves go.  So as we were sitting around having dinner last Sunday at my parents house my younger brother proposed a challenge.  Everyone throws in some money and the person to get in the best shape wins the cash.  Also a public shaming for the guy that comes in last.  That’s where the comedy comes in and my experience on stage is why I have to wear the ladies undies if I come in last.  If I were just to go onstage fully clothed I wouldn’t feel embarrassed enough.

Let me walk you through my eating habits on a typical weekday leading up to this.

7 AM – Wake up at take no food from home.

7:45 AM – Stop at Dunkin Donuts and buy a medium iced coffee and coffee roll (sometimes a donut or two instead)

10 AM – First break at work, hit up the vending machine for some doritos and maybe crackers maybe snickers bar but usually not JUST doritos……. also ice tea (the kind with a ton of sugar)

12 AM – Usually Papa Gino’s, for the Number 1 (with the extra slice of course) also sometimes a cookie.

6 PM – Something at an open mic or show,

11 PM – More FOOD…. done.

Oh and also probably some beer between 7pm and 11pm.

Basically I was eating everyday like I was going on a diet tomorrow.  With NO real plans to go on a diet.  So you can see why when someone said I bet I can lose more weight than you I said “I’m in!”

I don’t have a diet plan.  I’m just breaking all of my bad eating habits and exercising.  I weighed in last week at 232.5 pounds and as of earlier today the scale was reading 222.5 pounds.

I text my brothers constantly to taunt them with what I’m doing for exercise or just to let them know that I turned down dessert or free beer.  It’s weird but it’s the best way I can motivate myself, sibling rivalry.  We would never pat each other on the back and say nice job but we would rub it in the others face that we just did an hour of cardio and then lifted until muscle failure.  “Today I rode my bike (the kind you pedal) 14 miles.”  Is a text I just got to send.

Anyway the thing I want you guys/girls to know, the most important thing, is that this bet ends on August 9.  Which means that on August 12 one of my brothers will be doing stand up comedy at Sally O’Brien’s in Somerville for the first time ever or I will be doing comedy in only ladies underwear somewhere that week.

I’ll check in again next week.

your good friend,

Shawn.

 

p.s if you see me out at a show, please don’t offer me pizza or beer.

Thoughts, comments, questions?  Let’s talk on facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/shawncartercomedy

or twitter @ShawnCarters

 

 

 



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