Comedy Diet Challenge Week 3: Panty Shopping!!

 

 

All kinds of mistakes were made this week!!   I’ve still got a lot of time but I thought it might be time to start scoping out the least revealing panties just to be prepared.  That’s the boy scouts motto, “be prepared”.  However I think when I was a child and they were drilling that into my head they didn’t quite expect me later in life to be preparing to wear panties on stage while telling jokes.  It was an almost unforeseeable future.  (by the way I was basically kicked out of boy scouts when I was a kid, we’ll talk about that later.)

After resisting the urge to eat hamburgers and hot dogs Sunday and opting for a couple of veggie dogs instead, I caved into eating a couple of slices of hawiian pizza Sunday night.  Monday was good, Tuesday I had an ice cream after our softball game.  Wednesday back on the wagon, Thursday I had thai food at 10pm then went to bed almost immediately.   Friday wasn’t bad and then this morning (Saturday)  I ate frozen yogurt smothered in candy for BREAKFAST!!  Picture featured in the top left.

On the bright side I have been riding my bike a lot this week.  Racking up 65 miles of pedaling this week.  Unfortunately my brother took most of those rides with me.

So when it came time to weigh in I was a little unsettled, figuring that the number didn’t go up but that it may not have moved down much either.    Step on the scale, drum roll just in my own head.  215.5.    I use the restroom (sorry EVERYONE)  214.5.  I feel MUCH better.

My brother weighs in and I’ve taken the lead!!  He decides he needs to use the restroom.  (I’M SO SORRY EVERYONE)  On his way in my normally refined sister in law says “hey better make it a good one I don’t want you pushing out less than a pound.”  I can’t stop laughing.  I can’t remember if it helped him.  I had to go home.

So I get on my bike and start heading home.  A friend of mine just happens to be passing by and stops and offers me a ride.  I say no thanks and realize I’ve been so inactive for so long that my friend probably thinks I lost my license.

That’s all for now.  See ya next week, or at the open mics.  Peace.



Shawn Carter

Shawn is the owner and creator of UnSceneComedy.com